Did You Have a Happy 2020?
By the end of last year, we wished for a Happy 2020, made some plans, and were happy that 2019 ended, but when this year is coming close to an end, many of us are wondering »Am I having a happy 2020? Did the things go as I planned for this year?«. If the answer isn’t a resounding yes, then it is time to make some changes, don’t you think?
Many of us aren’t completely satisfied with our lives, and this is why we keep telling ourselves little lies to ease the blow. We say that it isn’t so bad.
Yes, it could be worse. But we all know it could be so much better! The moment we realize that we aren’t completely satisfied with our lives, may that be: our career, relationship, or our body, we are faced with a choice.
Do I want to be happy or not?
If your answer is yes, then there comes a follow-up question: Am I willing to do anything about it?
If the answer to this question is also yes, then you are on a very good path to fulfilling that wish. Knowing that something isn’t right is one step closer to clarity. Now you know that you aren’t satisfied with the current state and things need to change. You can finally make a decision.
Happiness is a choice
A statement that only happy people make might be your first assumption. But if that is so, just stating this statement would make you one of the happy ones, right? What if it could be that simple?
Maybe it is. Well, it almost is.
By stating »Happiness is a choice.« You admit to yourself that you know that you are responsible for your own happiness. Blaming the government, the weather, poor parents, or other people for our unhappiness is childish behavior that brings us nothing but disappointment and anxiety.
Why do we play the blame game? Because it is easier to be disappointed in others than in ourselves. We think that if we avoid our shortcomings we will outrun the truth and that is a trap that most of us fall into.
We can play this game for the rest of our lives and live a life of unfulfilled dreams and regret.
We can decide to take the matter into our own hands, become responsible adults, and start working on our happiness. It’s that simple really. We can just decide to be happy.
Now what? Where can I start?
Create a vision for your future
If we want to be truly happy, we need a vision that pulls us into a bright future. If we aren’t happy, it means that we don’t have an exciting vision that is pulling us forward. We don’t want to push ourselves every day, instead, we want to be pulled forward!
We need something to aim for if we want to enjoy our shots. Shooting randomly will get very boring eventually and this is why we need goals and a vision of the future.
If your morning alarm clock goes off and you keep pressing the snooze button, that just means you don’t have a reason to be excited about your day. And if you aren’t excited about your day and you climb out of bed with difficulty, that means that the rest of your day will probably look the same.
You will go to the job you hate, see the people that annoy you, eat a heavy lunch that will make you feel like getting stunned with a tranquilizer gun, and then drink 3 espressos to boost you for the remaining of the job.
Once you get home you feel drained from the day and all you want is to sit on the couch, watch TV, and hope that the day ends soon without any complications, so you can get the rest you so desperately need.
If this is what your typical day looks like, then you need a change.
And don’t wait for 2021. Decide to have a happy 2020! It is not too late.
How to create a vision
Many of us hope, that our purpose will randomly find us. Maybe it happens like that for some people, but for most of us, we need to find IT. How can I find my purpose? We find it by searching for it.
What we need to do is search effectively, search for it with a plan. We need to make notes.
Here is how we do it. You probably have a long list of things you don’t want to do, but you don’t have a list of things you would LOVE to do for the next 10 years or so. No problem, everyone has to start somewhere.
When people think about their purpose or a career they often think about jobs for which they know are the ones with high salaries. They focus on the money part of the equation. And as you have probably heard it before, money can’t buy you happiness. So in the beginning try to put money out of the equation.
Here is a little trick that might help you do that:
Close your eyes(read the article first) and imagine getting 10.000.000.000 $ on your personal account. Immediately you start to spend ferociously. After 3 years of heavy spending, traveling, and resting you still have 9.000.000.000 $ left and you already bought everything you could think of. You are fed up with everything and you want to do something that makes you feel you contribute something else than money. What would you do if you already HAD EVERYTHING?
Like Nike says: Just do it
Start writing ideas down. It doesn’t have to be perfect since the beginning. A bad map is still better than no map at all. Just start writing everything down and watch the magic happen. Soon you will be able to see a clearer and clearer vision of your future. You will see far beyond a happy 2020. Try to look 10, 20, 30 years down the road. Let your imagination run wild!
And again… don’t worry about the financial part. If you do what you love and you provide a great service to the world, the money will follow 100%! The moment you find your passion, it will be easier for you to generate more money, because we are always the best at things that we love to do.
Why? We don’t quit easily and we don’t mind putting in the extra hours needed for success.
Follow your feelings. What makes you feel alive? Is it mentoring someone and seeing his progress? Is it organizing an event for your coworkers? Whatever it is that you really enjoyed in the past, try to follow that feeling and imagine making a career out of it. Once you write down the direction you want to go in, try structuring it into a journey that you can develop for the next 10 years.
The most important part of writing your vision
What are the things that you don’t like about yourself? Are you shy, but you wish you could be more courageous when it comes to making a human connection? Do you wish you would be respected by your peers and have the integrity you currently lack?You wanted a happy 2020, but there are some things you didn’t follow trough. Remember, this is not the time for bubble wrapping the truth with small lies. Be brutally honest with yourself.
What kind of person would you like to be? Who do you admire? If you are happy with being shy and introverted, that is ok, as long as you don’t secretly wish you could be more extroverted. Just be honest with yourself. Write down the traits you wish to attain and the values you think you should live by. Turn the shoulds into musts and make it your new standards.
DREAM BIG! This is no time for modesty. Create a vision that will excite you. You need a vision that will make you jump out of the bed in the morning! You want to be proud of yourself.
Structure your vision into several parts
HEALTH AND BODY
If you want to be happy, you need to be healthy. Write down the things you need to do to attain the health you want. Write down the foods you can eat, and if you need to stop smoking, or drinking
You don’t want to be anxious, depressed, jealous, or bitter. What you want is to be happy, full of joy and bliss. You want to feel peace and excitement instead of boredom and nervousness
Write down what kind of relationships you want in life. Think about what kind of relationship you want with your wife, family, coworkers, and friends.
What is your contribution to the world? What do you think is your purpose? Write it down and explore the idea. Set the goals you wish to attain.
What financial goals do you have? Write down the exact numbers you want. Don’t focus only on what you need, focus on what you want.
What are your beliefs? Do you believe in anything bigger than yourself? Spirituality will give you strength and it is an area you don’t want to ignore. Research it. It will give you strength unlike anything else.
We all need some social life. We need friends, we need to have fun. Write down a bucket list of your adventures such as a bungee jump or a marathon. Remember or imagine things that are significant and you want to experience, but you are always saying: »Someday I might do that.« Write it down and execute it.
This area will give you true purpose. Helping others is one of the most rewarding feelings you can feel in life. You don’t want to miss out on that, do you?
Here comes the fun part… Get disciplined!
Writing down your vision and getting inspired is extremely important. You finally have the direction of your journey to a happy life. Maintaining your newly set standards and following through your plans is the next step.
You can watch motivational videos every morning, and you can motivate yourself as much as possible, but maintaining your new standards will require you to get disciplined also.
Your vision will get you to wake up enthusiastic, but your morning routine will enable you to stay focused on your happiness trough out the day. If you want to know more about an effective morning routine you should read Hal Elrod’s Miracle Morning. He explains all the benefits of waking up early and getting a head start on the day and he does it perfectly.
Remember, motivation has it’s ups and downs, but discipline will keep your productivity and happiness on high level EVERY DAY.
Discipline is something many of us connect with punishment because of the way we were raised. We also relate discipline with imprisonment when in fact, getting disciplined enables us to be free of guilt and free of regret. If we discipline ourselves to do the things we set out to do, we can have a guilt-free time after we do them to enjoy our lives to the fullest!
You can’t have a happy life without discipline.
This might sound like something your grandfather would say, but it is completely true. Discipline is the path to freedom and progress. You need to get disciplined to get to the next level in life.
Why do you want to get disciplined? Because you don’t want to live an »ok.« life… You want to live an »AWESOME!« life. The one worth remembering.
It’s not too late for a Happy 2020!
You don’t want to just safely wait to die. You want a life of adventure, love, joy, and happiness. And it’s a great life to want. I sincerely hope you get to live the life you want. I want you to thrive not just fight for survival.
If you need help a personal coach can be a soft push in the right direction. You can do all of these things alone if you are disciplined or if you get disciplined. But we have a habit of staying in our old behavioral patterns and it can be a pain in the ass to get out of them.
A little help along the way doesn’t hurt. Sometimes all you need is a talk with the person who can objectively call you out on your bullshit without being afraid of hurting your ego. Our egos can be real troublemakers, believe me, I know, but there is a way to overcome our weaknesses and shape ourselves into strong, confident, and brave individuals. You can live your life like a champion and become the person you will love and respect.
If you don’t know where to turn, these kinds of transformations are exactly what we specialize at Next Step. We are the wingmen you need to become a person you always dreamt of becoming. If we start soon, happy 2020 is something you can still make happen!